Do you ever get frustrated as a parent that your kids aren’t helping around the house as much as you’d like them to? Do you ever wonder, why can’t I get my child to show any initiative?
I think it’s pretty common for all of us… Here are some super practical ways to get your kids to do their fair share, whether it’s cleaning their room, picking up after themselves, vacuuming, dusting, folding laundry, doing the dishes, or any other household task that you need them to do.
You don’t have to be doing all 10 of these things, but you should be doing some of them. Pick which ones work best for you, or try different ones to see which ones work best in your home:
1. Delegate chores. This should go without having to be said, but I’ll say it anyway… Your kids need to have responsibilities in the home. Delegate age appropriate chores around the house to your different children. (see ideas at the end of the article)
2. Have a visual checklist. A physical list with checkboxes can be a visual motivator to kids, especially those who are goal-oriented. It allows a sense of accomplishment for them and an element of accountability for you as they check things off their list.
3. Rotate tasks/chores. Rather than having every child in the family do the same things every week or month, mix things up. Because let’s face it, some chores ‘stink’ more than others. Or have certain responsibilities that stay the same, and others that rotate.
4. Make them do things they don’t like. Our 16-year-old absolutely despises having to do the dishes. He would rather walk on glass than have to wash any of it. But guess what you’ll still find him doing from time to time… You guessed it! Part of our job as parents is to prepare our children for real life, much of which includes doing things for the rest of their lives that they won’t like.
5. Reward/Incentivize them. Kids thrive on praises and prizes. Give them both when they do a good job or go above and beyond. Maybe even consider having bonus chores listed somewhere with dollar bills attached for whoever completes the task the first. Sometimes, just giving our kids something to reach for stretches them in ways that simply demanding conformity will not.
6. Pay them. I know of many families that give their kids an ongoing allowance based upon the chores they do. We personally don’t do this but are not against it for families that find it helpful. If you practice this, make sure to follow the rule that ‘chores not completed = allowance not paid.’
7. Withhold privileges. Household tasks can become great leverage when kids want to have certain rights and privileges. Should our children be allowed screen time (tv, phone, games, etc.) or other privileges without having done first things first?
8. Have 10-minute team clean-up times. When our family has obviously gotten behind in our household cleanup, we will sometimes call for a 10-minute family clean up. We will set a timer, and we get as much laser-focused cleanup done in that timeframe as possible. Usually, it’s just picking up a lot of stuff that we have failed to put away. Consider doing this every night before you go to bed, and your house might thank you for it.
9. Discipline them. I would not suggest that you walk around like a prison guard with a paddle in your hand as your children do their chores, but on a serious note, don’t forget that you are the parent. If your child is being lazy, negligent, or disobedient when it comes to their responsibilities, who do you think has the ability (and responsibility) to change that in them, if not you?
10. Do things together. When you are doing household chores like washing the dishes or folding the laundry, bring one of your kids alongside to do it with you, or to simply teach them how to do it effectively. This is especially a great way to prepare your younger children for future tasks that may not be on their list of responsibilities now but will be in the future.
While this list is meant to be super practical, ask yourself, which of these am I utilizing in my home, and which ones do I need to try or implement? What other tips or practices do you use for getting your kids to help around the house?
Here’s an age appropriate chore list from Latitudes.org that you might find helpful (shared with permission).
