Thriving families are usually the product of thriving couples. And as weird as it may sound, one of the best ways for you to bless your children is to focus on improving your relationship with your spouse. Because the closer you grow as a couple, the more your children are sure to notice and to benefit as well.
In Genesis 2:22-23 the Bible says that God made the woman from the man’s rib and brought her to the man. And it was an immediate Wow moment. Adam was awestruck, and he instantly took to Eve, calling her “bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.” And in the following verses, we see the first marriage ceremony take place, as Adam and Eve become husband and wife, one flesh, in the presence of God.
If you are married, there was a Wow moment (or many moments) when you experienced fireworks between you and your spouse. The way you treated each other, the way you looked at each other, and the way you made each other feel was out of this world. And it was a good thing. You had won each other’s hearts, and even your mommas couldn’t convince you otherwise.
But as the years increased (or maybe the children) in your marriage, maybe so did the familiarity, the complacency, or the lack of passion and fire that once used to describe your love for each other. Regardless of where you find yourself in your marriage, let me encourage you to strive to win (or re-win) the heart of your spouse in these three ways:
1. WOO them…
You can remember the days when you intentionally wooed your spouse, and they intentionally wooed you. It came so easily as you were consumed with them in your thoughts and dreams for the future. That look, that touch, that kindness that came so natural and meant so much. Your infatuation made those things flow freely without even thinking about it. But now it seems like work. And you couldn’t be more right. Many spouses stop wooing each other because now it requires work and intentionality, and they’re not willing to put forth the effort. But the good news is that wooing your spouse is still possible for anyone who’s willing to work for it. Remember to treat your spouse like the person you fell in love with, and still are.
2. WOW them…
I can remember on our wedding day that our special phrase was this, “Today I will marry my best friend.” Marriage is the act of two best friends living one life together. And just like in the early days of your love relationship, surprising and serving your spouse regularly with things you know they enjoy should be an ongoing part of being best friends. Why do 50% of marriages end in divorce? Oftentimes it’s because one or more spouses stop surprising and serving their mate, and they start looking for that Wow feeling again of fresh romance or adventure elsewhere. It’s a simple principle really – learn to ‘water your own grass’. Be intentional about meeting each other’s needs and speaking each other’s love language in both familiar and out of the box ways. How can you wow your spouse today?
3. WIN them…
Remember this, if you’re not wooing or wowing your spouse, then you’re not striving to Win Their Heart, and likely someone or something else will. Don’t be deceived. Just because you won their heart years ago doesn’t mean that you can’t lose it now. Men, open that car door for your wife, do those dishes, put the kids to bed, finish that honey-do list, buy those flowers, take her out on that date, tell your wife she’s beautiful and how much you love her. Women, fix yourself up beautiful specifically for your husband, wear that outfit that he loves, make him his favorite meal, give attention to his personal preferences, turn him on in a way that only you can. Never stop seeking to win your spouse’s heart. Make it a life-long endeavor, just like your marriage.
Marriage takes a lot of heart work. But it’s worth the work. The question is – are you willing to do the work? Are you willing to woo, to wow, and to win your spouse’s heart in the coming year? I can guarantee you this, that not only will you and your spouse be glad you did, but your kids will as well. Do you want to become a godly parent? Then win the heart of your spouse this year. Because nothing speaks love louder to a child than when they see mom and dad love each other.
