“Grace Over Grit”…. that’s a thought that’s been on my mind recently in our home. Have you ever found yourself being harsher than necessary with your kids? I know I have.
Kids have a way of getting on your nerves sometimes, so our natural response can be filled with more grit than grace. This might look like:
– Interrogating or asking more questions than necessary
– Being overly picky about things that don’t really matter
– Allowing little things to become magnified into big things
Raising kids requires a lot of patience and grace. But often our default is the exact opposite—impatience and grit.
A posture of grace creates an ongoing environment of emotional safety in your home (no kids walking on eggshells!).
However, unnecessary grit creates needless tension, where everyone’s on edge, and fears to be themselves in the home, their primary, God-given safe place.
Thankfully, God has given us His Spirit within us to recognize the moments we need to be firm without being harsh, yet still full of grace. Moments that demand clear expectations, but don’t require belittling or unkindness.
I’m reminded of the words of Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.”
Why is this command so clearly laid out for us? Because it’s so easy to do the opposite.
It’s easy to forget what it was like to be a kid.
It’s easy to expect our kids to think and act like we do as adults.
It’s easier to walk in the flesh (grit) than in the Spirit (grace).
So this week, before you react in the moment, and before you jump to conclusions or jump on your child’s case, filter your response through a simple framework we teach our kids from the youngest ages:
– Is it true?
– Is it kind?
– Is it necessary?
Once you’ve filtered your response through these questions, then respond accordingly. You might be surprised to find that allowing your kids to simply be kids means the right response is sometimes… no response at all.
Grace doesn’t mean lowering our standards, it means raising our patience.
It means remembering that our kids are still learning, still growing, and still very much in process… just like we are.
This week, let’s choose grace over grit. Let’s extend the same patience to our children that God so freely extends to us.
“No parent gives mercy better than one who is convinced that he desperately needs it himself.” – Paul David Tripp
