Proverbs 14:4 Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox.
Throughout the Bible, we see the ox as a useful animal. In fact, in the days of the Old Testament, an ox was the strongest and most commonly used animal for a number of various purposes. It would have been the ancient equivalent to the tractor. The ox was the servant used to do nearly anything too hard for a human or anything that would make man’s job easier.
But there was a problem. While the oxen were a great source of productivity and power, they were also a source of great trouble and upkeep to their owner. The ox had to be fed daily to stay strong, sheltered from the cold to stay healthy, and contained within a fence or barn to stay out of trouble. It had to be taken care of when it was sick or injured, and least desirable of all, when the oxen decided to do what oxen do, guess what the farmer got to do?
An ox was a wonderful thing to own, but there were some unpleasant things that came with the territory. If a farmer wanted to have the strength and the benefit that comes from the ox, he also had to deal with the messy and inconvenient situations it would naturally create.
As a parent, can you relate? No doubt, your desire is to raise good and godly children, while cultivating within them character, and discipline, and a passion for God that will enable them to make a future difference. But honestly, sometimes all that you can see is the mess.
A Dose of Reality
It seems that the white picket fence image of having a perfect family and amazing kids gets quickly buried and lost in the middle of the pile of dirty laundry on the floor and puddle of spilled milk on the table.
- Gone are the years of stinky diapers, but I can still remember them well, especially the ones that fit the description of “fill my cup and let it overflow.”
- I can remember getting home from work when our oldest son, Spencer, was just a few years old, to find him writing with markers all over the living room walls.
- It doesn’t seem like long ago that our daughter, Faith, was found in her room with lipstick all over her and everything else in sight.
- I can recall countless scratches from bike handles that have etched their way onto the sides of our vehicles over the years.
Raising a family is not an easy or clean job. It can be rather messy, trying, and frustrating at times. But let me remind you that when it comes to raising our kids, the mess is a part of the mission.
I’m not advocating that you let your kids run around like wild, undisciplined hoodlums, but I am asking you to recognize that they will not be perfect haloed angels either.
One man told his wife that he really wished that the children could be kept in a nursery when he was at home. And considerately he said, “I wouldn’t mind the noise if they would only keep quiet.”
Charles Spurgeon once said, “Where there are lambs, there will be bleating.”
A New Perspective
Let me remind you that “much increase” is by the strength of the ox. If you’re willing to deal with the mess, there are great benefits that will accompany it. You may not see them today, or tomorrow, but they will come.
Solomon makes it pretty clear that if you don’t want to deal with the mess, you really only have one option – “Get rid of your ox.”
And the same is true of the family. If the main goal for your family is to never have to deal with any messes or problems, there’s only one answer that will produce that solution – “Get rid of the kids.”
Where no oxen are the crib is clean and where no children are the house is clean. The messes come with the territory of the family package. And if there’s anyone who struggles with accepting this principle, it’s me (just ask my wife).
Our problem is that we sometimes fall into the trap of believing the “Clean Barn” myth. We want a fulfilling job that never causes us to question our sanity, a thriving marriage that never faces conflict, and well-behaved kids who never make messes, but that’s just not reality.
If we want to have productivity in our family or any other area of life, we’re going to have to deal with some things that are smelly and messy like an ox in order to make progress.
If you’re struggling today with the frustration of stinky diapers, messy rooms, unfolded laundry, or scratches on the car, let me encourage you not to despise the mess, but rather embrace it.
Make the most of the mess. Much increase is on the way!
