What do your kids need from you Right Now?…
Last week, I shared with you the four main stages of parenting that every child and parent goes through. We learned that the changing seasons of childhood demand the changing responsibilities of parenthood.
It’s important for parents to recognize that as their children age, they go through different seasons of development and growth. And not only is it important to know what season your child is in so that you can properly meet their needs. It is also vitally important that you recognize that multiple times through each stage/season there will be growth points along the way that require you to be intentional.
One of the best ways to do this is to be regularly asking ourselves the questions,
“What do my children need from me Right Now, and how can I help them take the next step toward personal responsibility and spiritual maturity in that area?”
Philippians 1:6 says… Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.
God’s desire for his children is that constant pursuit of Him will result in constant pursuit of growth until He returns. This ought to be our natural desire for our children as well – that they are always growing and moving forward.
We have three children still at home, and each of them is at different stages of needs and maturity. And we believe that as long as they are living under our roof, there are specific things that God is counting on us to instill within them – character traits, beliefs, appetites, passions, etc.
We always have a mental list of the main area we’re currently trying to work on with each of our kids. And once we ‘finish’ or succeed in one area, there will always be another… until they leave home. It is a never-ending process from giving birth to saying goodbye.
God has called every parent to do the same – to help your kids grow RIGHT NOW right where they are.
Stop and think. Maybe even get a pen and notepad out… What do your kids need from you right now to help them reach their God-given potential?
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What areas of weakness need to be focused on?
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Are certain character traits are lacking?
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Is there a skill they need to be learning or honing in on?
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Do they need to improve in showing proper respect for authority?
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How are their basic manners?
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What about their knowledge of Bible truth?
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Are they growing in grace towards those around them and different from them?
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Are they maturing in the areas of self-control, forgiveness, and humility?
Just like you, your child is a work in progress that God is committed to finishing, and He wants your help. Like God has used people in your life to help you become what you were made for, God is partnering with you for these short 18 years to help your children become what He created them for.
Here are some practical ways to make this happen:…
Talk regularly with your children one-on-one
Proverbs 4:1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.
You will not know your kids if you don’t intentionally talk to your kids. This can happen daily. However, one of the ways I love to talk one-on-one with our kids is to take one child out weekly. I always have something to ask them about that I’ve noticed or observed in them – an attitude, a desire, a want, a habit, etc. It also gives me an opportunity to simply let them talk while I listen to what their heart is saying.
Protect your child’s influences and appetites
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
We are called to be the protectors of our children’s hearts. As we see those undesirable and unacceptable traits in our children, it is our job as parents to root them out. And sometimes to recognize the root of where those traits may have come from – whether that be ourselves or other influences that we have allowed in their lives.
Never stop growing yourself
Proverbs 23:26 My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.
As long as our children are still living in our home, we should be consciously addressing areas of personal growth in them. (This should hopefully and naturally become less as they age.) One of the best ways to do this is to constantly be growing ourselves.
Growing parents will naturally produce growing children. Spiritually stagnant parents will naturally produce spiritually stale children.
Take some time to fill out The Child Observation Analysis on each of your children. It’s not fool-proof, but it will help to clearly show you where you are getting some things right as well as other areas that could use improvement to help your kids Right Now where they are.
(And don’t be too hard on yourself! No child will get a perfect score on this analysis, and that’s a good thing. The goal is not to make you feel guilty as a parent. The goal is to raise your awareness of areas where you can help your child keep growing into their God-given potential.)
How can I help you to be the godly parent your kids deserve? Do you have a question, a need, or a prayer request? I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to reach out to me by clicking here.
