There’s an old Chinese proverb that says:
- If you want happiness for an hour – take a nap.
- If you want happiness for a day – go fishing.
- If you want happiness for a year – inherit a fortune.
- If you want happiness for a lifetime – help someone else.
Happy parents most often raise happy kids. But what are some of the “under the hood” inner workings that lead to this? Here are 5 things that parents can exemplify for their kids that naturally lead to a happier life:
1. Live within your means (Practice delayed gratification)
In an age of stimulus checks and “free” everything, it’s easier than ever for this generation to be entitled, because they’ve been given more, but had to work less. But the irony of having things on impulse is that it never satisfies. In fact, instant gratification always brings along its twin siblings, disappointment and discontentment. (Heb. 13:5)
2. Forgive those who hurt you (Learn to let go of the past)
Some of the happiest people in the world are those who figure this out. Some of the unhappiest are those who never do. You can’t control people. You can’t control circumstances. But you can control YOU. Don’t let what you can’t control change what you can. How you respond when you’re mistreated, misrepresented, and misunderstood matters more than you know. And quit waiting for an apology. It’s not necessary and may likely never happen. Just. Choose. Forgiveness. (Eph. 4:32)
3. Pray about everything (Remember God’s power is greater than yours)
God has given us as believers access to come boldly before his throne (Heb. 4:16). However, “oh what needless pain we bear” because we fail to to use prayer as our first resort, instead of our last. Teach your kids how to pray, why to pray, and even what to pray by example. Teach them to pray about everything. Because God cares about everything. (Phil. 4:6, I Thess. 5:17)
4. Give the benefit of the doubt (Always assume the best of others)
Some of the most miserable people in the world are those who are easily offended. And most of their offenses come from wrong assumptions. Remember, there’s always more to a story than you know. I’ve seen it over and over again through the years. Assuming gets people in a lot of trouble with others. Yet most people do it all the time. Teach your children not to assume, and if you just must, then always assume the best. Your happy meter will thank you for it. Because how many times have you wished that someone else would have given you the benefit of the doubt. Be that person. (Psalm 119:165, Prov. 18:13)
In relation to multiple of the above points, I have found the 72-hour rule to be a life-saving principle. When I follow it, I’m almost always glad I did. When I fail to follow it, I often experience regret. Because when emotions are high, wisdom is low.
The 72-hour rule – If something still bothers you after 72 hours then address it. Waiting 72 hours gives sufficient time to process emotions and approach the situation more rationally and biblically.
Remember, not everything has to be addressed immediately, and many things, not at all. Find the right time and the right tone. Because even the right thing said at the wrong time or in the wrong way can cause more harm than good.
5. Don’t turn the small stuff into big stuff (Don’t make mountains out of molehills)
One of my life mottos that I tell my family often is “choose your battles wisely”. Why? Because not all battles are worth fighting, and if you try fighting them all, you’ll lose more than you win. As a parent, as a friend, as a leader, don’t sweat the small stuff. Learn to go with the flow, be the bigger person, and live a grace-filled life in front of your kids. (Mathew 23:23-24, 1 Peter 5:7)
Which of these resonates most with your right now? What other examples have the potential to lead children to a lifetime of happiness?
