We’ve all seen children who were raised right still go wrong, following their hearts all the way to their own destruction.
One of the most crucial aspects of parenting yet the easiest to overlook is the shaping of our children’s hearts. It’s so easy to focus on the outside stuff that we see (behaviors, attitudes, etc) without giving proper attention to the inside stuff that truly matters.
Whether we like it or not, what’s in a child’s heart will guide them for the rest of their lives.
Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, seemed to have an obsession with the direction of his child’s heart. In the book of Proverbs, a book of wisdom written to his son, he mentions the heart repeatedly throughout almost every chapter.
Solomon’s Passion…
He regularly pointed his son to the need of protecting his heart and its direction. He captures this passion in a nutshell in the following verse…
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Why would Solomon be so adamantly concerned with his child’s heart? Could it be that he personally knew all too well where one’s heart could lead a person if left unchecked? (Read Ecclesiastes if you’re not sure.)
Is it possible that among all of the moments, days, and years of a child’s life, a parent could actually overlook the one most important thing?… Yes, very possible.
Solomon’s Best Advice…
Solomon gives his best ‘heart’ advice to his son in Proverbs 3:5-7
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding,
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.
In these few short verses, he gives the roadmap for every person, including us as parents, to help our children protect themselves from the danger of their own hearts.
Solomon knew all too well the principle of Jeremiah 17:9, that “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
Solomon understood that the greatest threat to his child’s future was not the influences outside of him, but the heart within him.
He wanted his son to know how to direct his heart rather than be destroyed by it. So he gave these three reminders to his son that we should teach our children as well:
1 – Trust God with All Your Heart
The answer to all of life – trust God. Easier said than done, right?! Not partially, or mostly, but with “all your heart”.
While that’s a big ask, it’s such a simple principle to live by. In a world that is telling our kids to “follow your heart” and “do what makes you happy” and “you be you”, this message is completely contradictory to what they are hearing in the culture.
Trusting God with all one’s heart means submitting your will and way to God’s, not your own. This requires sacrifice and surrender.
2 – Don’t Trust In Your Own Heart
As humans, we have a natural tendency to trust in our own feelings and reasoning to direct our decisions. Solomon says that nothing could be worse.
He basically repeated the first point but in reverse. He says that the opposite of trusting in the Lord with all your heart is trusting in yourself by “leaning on your own understanding” and by “being wise in your own eyes.”
Parents have a great opportunity to teach their children not to be led by their feelings & emotions, but to be led by grace & truth. These two concepts if followed to their end will lead to two completely different destinations. Our children need to know this.
3 – Acknowledge God In Everything
There are so many things competing for our children’s hearts, but so very few that actually matter.
What would it look like to teach our kids to acknowledge God in “all their ways”? How could that change the way they view their money, siblings, school, sports, television, authority, daily decisions, etc.
Teaching our kids to acknowledge God in every area of life starts by them seeing this practiced first in us. Think of how many things might change in our lives (and theirs) if we filtered everything through an “acknowledge God first” lens.
Here’s a great question to teach your kids to use in every situation – “Am I doing what I want to do… or what God wants me to do?”
Acknowledging God first practically comes through living out the great commandment to love God with all our heart (Matthew 22:37), and to live in such a way so that everything we do is done ‘heartily’, as to the Lord (Colossians 3:23).
How could you be a Solomon to your kids this week and teach these three things as preventative maintenance against a heart disease of the worst kind? May we teach our children that “your heart is not your friend”, and may we protect them from the dangers of their own heart in the process.
Here are some discussion questions to use with your kids this week:
- What kind of things will a person naturally do if they follow their heart (feelings)?
- Why is it important to trust in the Lord rather than trusting in our heart? How is it different?
- How can acknowledging God in every area of our life protect us and others?
