Parenting is an 18-year journey with a lifetime of returns. And while every year of those 18 is crucially important, if I was only to be given 3 years to parent my kids, here’s the 3 that I would choose…
THE AGES BETWEEN 2-5 YEARS OLD
Raising kids is similar to making financial investments, and one of the most important principles of investing is this – The earlier you start, the better the return you will receive on your investment.
The same is true for the first 3-5 years in parenting. Do it right in those first few years, and you’ll have just made the next 13-14 years so much much easier, having laid a strong foundation to build upon. But neglect your responsibility in those first few years, and while it is not impossible to succeed, you’ve definitely made it much more difficult, as you’re now trying to play “catch-up” for possibly years to come.
While the terrible 2’s & 3’s are sometimes a potential nightmare for parents to get through, they are foundational years that generally set the tone and future of a family. Because they are the early years when in a child’s mind, it is determined who is in control – them or their parents. (Even by the age of as early as 1-2, a child knows whether or not they are in control, or if their parents are).
So what does this mean for us?:
AS PARENTS…
These early years are not only significant, they are vital to our success as they lay a foundation for us to build upon for the rest of our parenting years (not to mention the rest of our children’s lives). In these few short years, we set ourselves up for success or failure in the areas of discipline, attitudes, and expectations. Children learn in these early stages what is and isn’t acceptable or allowed behavior.
My wife and I can say from experience that hands down, the ages of 2-5 were the hardest years of parenting with each of our kids. Because it was during those years that we vigorously taught, trained, disciplined, and won the hard battles while they were young.
Oftentimes, many families struggle in the later years of parenting because they established a poor foundation upon which to build upon in the early years. I don’t know much about construction, but I do understand this important principle – It’s always a whole lot easier to get the foundation right from the start than it is to try to do constant patch-up work along the way in years to come. The same is true in parenting. Do the hardest work in the early years, and you will never regret it. The principle of More Control Now, Less Control Later pays off huge!
For parents who are going through these “terrible” years – take heart, and know that if you will stay the course to establish a firm foundation of your love, control, and authority in your child’s life, it will pay off with years and years of benefits.
For the parents who have passed these early years and wish they could get them back – take heart because the best day to start making a change for the better in your parenting is TODAY. As long as your children are still in your home, it is never too late to make course corrections. And the sooner you start, the better.
AND FOR THOSE WHO WORK WITH PRE-K CHILDREN…
If you serve as a ministry volunteer or educator, please be reminded that what you do makes such a huge difference! These early years are the wet cement of the hearts of these children; the formative years where worldview is being developed and character shaped for life. You are doing so much more than just babysitting or childcare. You are helping pull back upon the arrow of these young lives to release them in the right direction into the future. What a great privilege and responsibility. One that we should never take lightly!
Psalm 127:4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
