Have you ever felt like you were ‘in over your head’?…
Like you’d ‘bit off more than you could chew’?…
Or that you were ‘burning the candle at both ends’ just to keep up?…
Sometimes life, and especially parenting, can feel this way.
Our daughter just turned 18 this past week, and 18 years still seems insufficient to do all ’the things’ to prepare our kids for life and the real world. Yet, it’s all we get.
Recently, I felt this way about many other things too. Due to my own choices, I found myself in a season of being overcommitted and stretched thin trying to balance a few too many good things.
And unfortunately, it wasn’t just me that it affected. It cost my family in some ways as well.
A few weeks ago it all climaxed as I came to the realization that I was in over my head while trying to juggling multiple commitments. And as a result, I was forced to rely on inconveniencing my wife and family to help me stay afloat. Thankfully, they were good sports in coming to my rescue :).
The reality is that in life, we all can find ourselves at times overcommitted and in too deep. And oftentimes, we may even be overcommitted in some really ‘good’ things.
If you’re feeling like you’ve recently bit off more than you can chew, here are some suggestions that I’m still learning.
1. Identify what’s good from what’s best.
No person can do it all, no matter how much they try. Every time you say ‘Yes’ to one thing, it means you’ll have to say ‘No’ to something else. On the flip side, this also means that by saying ‘No’ to one thing, it frees you up to say ‘Yes’ to something else.
This is hard for most of us. But it requires that you ‘Identify Your Why’ and use it to prioritize your life. Learn to prioritize what matters most by asking yourself the question, “What are the most valuable things to me in my current season of life, and what are some things that I can do, but maybe shouldn’t do, at least not right now?” This also requires discernment to identify the things God is calling you to do versus the things that others are asking of you.
Right now for me personally, prioritizing spiritual and personal investments into my children while they are still at home are the ‘best’ things. Many other good things can wait.
2. Put some things on the chopping block.
What are some thing that you’re doing… that you don’t need to be doing? These may be tasks, responsibilities, bad habits, or just areas of wasted time. They don’t align with your current season or your current why, yet they’re often eating up your best time and commitment to other things that truly matter?
Whatever those things are, fight to rid yourself of them. For some parents, the #1 thing that they’re giving their best time to is the last thing on earth that really matters – social media, screen time, etc. Yet they freely give it multiple hours a day, while saying that they “just don’t have time to get everything done”.
For your family, it might be a sports activity, a TV series, or a consuming relationship that needs go by getting put on the chopping block. Whatever it is, remember that there’s a reason it’s called “the chopping block”, because setting boundaries for yourself isn’t usually meant to be a long drawn out process, but rather just a painful amputation.
3. Keep your eyes on Jesus.
If Jesus is the author and finisher of your faith, trust him above all else. No one can tell you what you need to do more than the one that created you and the one who knows you like the back of his hand. Walk with him. Pray to him. Trust in him. He will guide you into the best things if you’ll let him.
Walk in the spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16
How many of the things we call ‘good’ are actually just things of the flesh that make us feel good? If we’re honest, it makes us feel good to be busy, overcommitted, ‘important’, or needed by others. Yet, sometimes, identifying our why and pinpointing our greatest contribution can help us see that less truly is more.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
Jesus did not call us to be human doings, but human beings. He didn’t say “Just do all the things.” He did say, “Learn of me… and ye shall find rest for your souls.” As for me, I’m still in that learning process.
