Last week, I watched as my 16 year-old son drove out of our driveway for the very first time completely by himself.
It was kind of a surreal moment, as it hit me again that our children grow up so fast, and I was reminded of how this would only be one of many ‘firsts’.
He had just bought his very first car that he’d been saving up for many years to be able to purchase. And I was proud, because he had worked, he had planned, he had saved… but I was also sad at the same time, because “Wasn’t I just chasing him around the living room as a 2 year-old boy yesterday?”
Just last week I was also talking to a friend who was taking his oldest daughter off to her first year of college, and with tears in his eyes, he shared with me how very difficult this was for him to let her go.
What is it that makes it so hard for us as parents to learn to let go of our children? While I was thinking similar things about my son as this man was thinking about his daughter, I shared with him a few thoughts about learning to let go that I thought I would share with you today as well:
- THIS is what we’ve been working towards all their lives. The end-game of our parenting is that we would raise responsible, charactered, and Godly young people who are prepared to face the challenges of life with a biblical wordview. Young people who are able to live their lives successfully without us as a result of the time they have lived their lives with us.
- Letting Go means LETTING GOD. As parents, we’ve strived to be a reflection of their Heavenly Father in their life since day one – to nurture, train, and prepare them for life and it’s challenges. Now we get to release them into the world for them to accomplish their purpose, not second-guessing ourselves, but simply trusting that God Himself will be their “parent” for the rest of their lives.
- The process of Letting Go is GRADUAL. While my friend was closer to the end of letting go, as his daughter was leaving home for the first time, I personally felt like I was more at the beginning stages of letting go as my son left the driveway for the first time. But what I was reminded of is that releasing our children into the world as arrows (like the Bible describes them in Psalm 127:4) requires the slow and steady preparation of pulling back the arrow on the bow before it’s ever fully released. And if I’m feeling the emotion of the pulling back, I can certainly understand the future difficulty of the full release.
Regardless of what age or stage your children are currently in, remember that we have been given stewardship over their lives for such a short time with one primary God-given purpose – to release them into the world to carry on the baton of the Gospel and of our faith into the next generation. And that’s something that won’t happen overnight. So be intentional.
