The front door swung open and the first words I heard were these, “She hates me, and I don’t know why.” One of our kids had been hurt by a friend at school, and an important conversation followed.
It’s inevitable, your kids are going to get hurt by others, both inside and outside of the family. In fact, they are also going to do plenty of the hurting towards others themselves. Because life is filled with pain, your child’s understanding of forgiveness and its value is important for a lifetime of relational success. Here are some of the benefits of forgiveness to teach your children:
Forgiveness heals
I recently had a scab that I couldn’t seem to leave alone but kept picking off, and it seemed like it took forever to heal. The same is true in life – a constantly open wound cannot heal properly. Forgiving and ‘forgetting’ by refusing to constantly reopen a wound can allow healing to happen. Kids more naturally forgive and forget than adults, so establishing this concept in their hearts early can set them up for a lifetime of relational advantages. (Colossians 3:13)
Forgiveness follows the Golden Rule
Just as people hurt you, you too hurt people. When you realize that you have been the instrument of someone else’s pain (especially Jesus’), it puts forgiveness in perspective. Because just as we have a hard time loving our enemies, someone else has a hard time loving us, and we easily forget that. Putting others first through forgiveness brings joy by doing for them what you would want them to do for you. (Matthew 7:12)
Forgiveness produces peace
Unforgiveness produces bitterness. Forgiveness results in freedom. There’s a biblical principle that says… ‘where there is no wood, the fire goeth out.’ Every time your anger resurfaces, forgive again. If you want peace, intentionally choose not to keep putting wood on the fire of your pain. (Proverbs 19:11, Romans 12:18)
Forgiveness benefits you
Someone has wisely said that “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that the prisoner was you.” Teach your children the freedom from the grip of bitterness that can be enjoyed through forgiveness. Surprisingly, the primary beneficiary of forgiveness is usually not the person being forgiven, but the person doing the forgiving. (Romans 12:19)
Forgiveness changes the world
Some of Jesus’ most famous words – “Father, forgive them” – exemplify his purpose – He came to save the world. Jesus is our example to follow in exemplifying forgiveness (Eph. 4:32). And there is nothing we could want more than for our children to imitate Jesus. In fact, that’s one of our greatest goals! Forgiveness is a cornerstone of what it means and what it looks like to be a Christian. If we want our children to change their world, their response to forgiveness will either help or hinder their ability to do it.
How well are your children seeing these benefits of forgiveness in your own life? Why not take some time this week to discuss these five things with your kids and the verses that accompany them?
