I have a confession to make… I’m dating someone else, but my wife’s okay with it…
Of our four children, the Lord blessed us with one little girl, daddy’s Princess, Faith.
There’s something very special about a Daddy/Daughter relationship. Something unique and unexplainable about it. Maybe for me it’s because my other three are boys, I’m not sure.
One of the things I’ve done with my daughter since she was just a few years old is take her out on dates, and it’s been one of the most enjoyable and rewarding experiences in our relationship. She’s 11 now, but still loves going on dates with her daddy, and I hope that it’s something that never gets old to her.
Dad’s taking their daughters on dates may be a foreign concept to many families, but I don’t think it should be.
Here’s 5 reasons why I date my daughter and why you should too if you’re a dad:
1. PERSONALIZED ATTENTION
My daughter glows with excitement when I ask her to go out on a date. She absolutely loves when she knows that she is the center of my attention and that, at least for that moment, nothing else in the world matters to me but her.
Every child in a family needs personal attention from their parents, but it’s often very hard to accomplish unless it’s intentionally prioritized and planned.
Taking my daughter on dates allows me to invest into her in a personal way that’s not as easily possible when we are all together at home as a family.
2. FATHERLY AFFECTION
Statistics show that children long for fatherly love and affection, but most go without getting enough of it. Dad is too often too busy with everything else to devote individual attention and affection to each child. But especially, when it comes to our girls, they need our individualized fatherly affection. She needs us to know how to love her differently by giving her the specific affection she craves.
This generation is reaping the harvest from the high cost of failed fatherhood. Dads who had more affection for their football team or their job than they did for their own children. And in many cases, dads who just simply never even showed up in their kids’ lives at all.
Moms are a wonderful gift from God, but children need the love and authority of a father in their life (or a godly male mentor if the father is not able to be present). I want my daughter to grow up understanding that “this is the way a daddy is supposed to treat his little girl.”
3. QUALITY CONNECTION
Going on a date with my daughter is exciting because we always have so much fun. There’s always a sense of anticipation about what we’re going to do, where we’re going to eat, and what we’re going to talk about.
I can’t fully explain it, but there’s an obvious relational connection that happens on a date with my daughter that doesn’t happen on quite that level anywhere else. She opens up and talks to me more than at any other time because she knows that I am all ears, that no topic is out of bounds, and there is no such thing as a dumb question.
Going on dates together has provided us with a quality connection that has deepened our relationship and grown our love for one another.
4. IMPLIED EXPECTATION
Let me be honest – One of the reasons I go on dates with my daughter is because I want her to know how a gentleman is supposed to treat a young lady. (And who better for her to learn it from than her father?)
- I dress up just the same as if I were going on a date with my wife.
- I open the car door for her.
- I make it my aim to please her and to serve her to the best of my ability.
Why? She may not realize it, but I’m trying to instill within her the instinctive knowledge of what to look for in a young man some day when she’s older. I want to be the standard by which she judges other men.
Most often, young ladies are naturally drawn to men who were much like their fathers, whether that’s good or bad. If my ultimate desire is that my little girl will grow up someday and find interest in a well-mannered, charactered, and godly young man, I had better be that man in her life today.
5. DIVINE IMPRESSION
There’s something even more important to me than being a reflection of the type of man I hope my daughter one day marries. As her father, I am a reflection of how she will perceive God, her Heavenly Father, to be, for the rest of her life.
If I’m gentle, caring, forgiving, and loving, it will be easy for her to see God as being those things as well. But if I’m harsh, demanding, critical, and slow to let things go, she won’t help but struggle with thinking of her Heavenly Father in the same ways.
When I take my little girl on a date, I want her to feel like a child of the King, because she is. And not just because she’s my Princess, but because she’s God’s Child. How I treat her as my child will reflect how God loves her as His.
A few key ways to making these dates successful are these:
- Plan it in advance and creatively invite her in advance (even a week before). The anticipation of both you and your daughter leading up to the date will make it even more of a memorable event.
- Go somewhere special that is meaningful, whether that be a park, her favorite restaurant, or to do one of her favorite activities. Whatever you decide to do, be intentional about making a memory of it!
- Go all out! Dress up. Splurge a little. Be a true gentleman. Get a gift. Buy her a rose.
- (These general tips/principles can work great for moms and boys too)
I wish that every dad that has a daughter would make it a practice to date her regularly. The small investment now will not only be enjoyable, but will pay off great dividends of unequalled value in the future. My daughter is far too valuable to me not to do it. In my opinion, it’s simply an investment I can’t afford not to make.
