What if you could relationally protect your child with just one question?
Many adults have what is called a “father wound” (and/or a mother wound). That is, a pain from their past that was caused by their parents, and often, specifically by their fathers.
A majority of adults say they have such a wound that causes them to experience emotional or psychological issues stemming from an absent or critical father/parent.
However, a father wound can be attributed to many different things:
- silence or disengagement
- abandonment
- lack of physical affection
- failure to be present
- physical or verbal abuse
- failure to love
- being too harsh or too lenient
Such wounds can be far-reaching and far-damaging in the life of any child.
But what if you could get five or ten years ahead with the awareness of your children’s future father wound? Do you think that awareness would help you be a better parent now?
If you want to protect your child from a future father wound, explain to them the above information, then ask them what that “wound” might be for them right now.
Ask… then just listen.
I did this with my teenage son this week, by asking him this question, “Knowing that the majority of adults say they have some form of a father wound, what might that be in your life right now? Is there something I’m doing, or not doing, that is hurting you in any way?”
(If you have younger children, this simpler question might be more helpful, “If you were my parent, and I were your child, what would you do differently? Or… If you could have one thing different in our family, what would it be?”)
My son’s answers were helpful to me. I’m sure that your child’s answers will be for you as well, as you strive to protect your child’s heart in every way.
If you struggle with a father wound from your own childhood, your healing starts with forgiveness. Because an unhealed parent will inadvertently bleed on their children.
