More than ever before, we have a generation of kids who desperately need to see a mom and dad who are fully committed, together forever, and genuinely in love with each other.
And even more than just seeing it somewhere, they need to be able to experience seeing it displayed in their own home on a regular ongoing basis.
As parents, one of our God-given jobs is to make marriage look good in front of our kids by exemplifying something in our relationship that is desirable.
Let me ask you today…
Is your marriage something to be desired by your kids?
Do they look at what you and your spouse have and anticipate marriage in their future, or drudge it? If your kids were asked to describe your relationship, how would they answer? Because they are watching and paying attention (you know that, right? lol).
To this day, I can remember both the times growing up when Mom and Dad were obviously in love and also the times when I wasn’t so sure. But thankfully, the first far outweighed the latter. However, what I can’t help but realize is that although inadvertently at the time, I was taking mental notes on how marriage and family life operates.
This has caused me to be even more conscious of how my wife and I interact with each other in front of our kids. While I don’t want for my children to have a ‘fairy-tale’ view of marriage, I do want for them to grow up in a home where it’s normal to see their parents getting along, holding hands, kissing each other, and working together as the best two-person team in the world.
Here are a few ways that you can pave the way for success in your children’s future marriages by how you conduct your own in front of them.
1. DON’T FIGHT in front of your kids
This is a tough one to live by, and I can’t say that we’ve always followed it, but we try. On the few occasions that I can remember us fighting in front of our kids, it’s been obvious that it almost always caused tension not only for us but in our children as well. It puts an unnecessary strain upon our family that our children especially should not have to experience.
While there are some positive life-lessons that can be learned from our children watching us handle conflict well, as a general rule for the sake of our kids, mom and dad can wait to discuss or argue about certain things in private. Because nothing can replace giving your kids the gift of living in a peaceful home.
2. GET PHYSICAL in front of your kids
Yes, you heard me right! Your kids need to see mom and dad touching, hugging, and kissing each other on a regular basis.
If we teach our kids for years that they can’t do all this long list of stuff until they’re married, then let’s paint marriage in the positive light that it is for how wonderful it can be when it’s done right. Marriage is meant to be fun, and our kids should be able to see that!
Sadly, most kids today see more inappropriate physical affection out in the world than they do appropriate, God-honoring physical affection in the home between mom and dad. As parents, we have the opportunity to set the stage and paint the right perspective for our kids.
In addition to giving your spouse physical affection, make sure you’re giving your kids their needed regular doses as well. Chances are, they need more of it than you’re giving. Don’t make your physical affection something that they have to work for.
3. SERVE GOD in front of your kids
While the first two are vital, this point is critically important, and can make the difference between raising good kids or godly kids.
Someone once said it this way, “Kids are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate.”
Our children will learn how to serve God by watching us serve God. Based on that, are they going to learn how to serve through the lens of legalism or grace… a service done out of duty or a service done out of desire? Will they see that we have a separate spiritual life and normal daily life, or will the two be inseparable?
It’s a wonderful thing when your kids catch you reading your Bible or walk in on you while you’re down on your knees praying. It’s a wonderful thing when they see your walk with God in action. It’s an even better thing when they get to be a part of serving God together with you.
Marriage is hard work and sometimes a bit messy, but that should never keep us from being able to provide our children with the greatest example that we possibly can of what a Biblical marriage looks like!
While there’s no 100% money back guarantee that your kids will have a successful marriage someday, I think that these three things can certainly help steer you in the right direction.
So, what is the #1 best way to guarantee that your children will have a successful marriage someday? Simply put… Model One For Them!
Make Marriage Look Good by visualizing for your kids the type of marriage they’ll want to have someday for themselves – two people committed to and enjoying one life together… forever.
Now that’s something desirable!
