Recently, my teenage daughter and I went on a date to one of her favorite places of all places – Chipotle. And in the course of the conversation, we took some time to point out some of each other’s blind spots… and it was eye-opening.
Every parent has them – blind spots – the things that everyone else can see about you, but that you are blinded to. The question is, are you willing to let others in your life help you identify them? Because the very fact that they are ‘blind spots’ means that you can’t see them without someone else’s help.
Here are three things I’m learning about how to avoid my blind spots as a parent:
Accept constructive criticism.
A growing parent is always a teachable one. If you always have to be right, no matter the circumstances… that’s a blind spot. No man is an island. We were created to need each other as family, which includes honest input from those we know we can trust. Why? Because we all struggle on some level with self-awareness.
So how do you know your blind spots? It’s pretty easy, really. Ask yourself:
-
What are some areas of my life where I constantly struggle and seem to always get the same negative results? (relationships, time management, my tone or temperament, etc.)
-
What areas are others closest to me regularly pointing out as a problem but that I still don’t see as a problem?
Ask for help.
Your family already knows your blind spots better than anyone else. So ask them. For me, this has looked like taking advantage of one on one moments with my wife and kids and asking each other to identify at least one of our blind spots that we can work on.
Think about this… If the people who love you most already know your blind spots (and are most affected by them), what would keep you from wanting to know them and asking what they are? (Pride, or a refusal to admit fault, maybe?) Or could it be that your family is hesitant to point out your blind spots because they feel that they’ve already tried, but always hit the brick wall of your denial?
Don’t be that mom or dad who’s too proud to let your children grow you into a better parent.
Adjust course.
Once you know what you need to work on and are humbly willing to acknowledge it, implement some things that can help make change happen for you and your family. Because remember, “nothing changes if nothing changes.”
“No matter where you are in your parenting, it’s never too late to change course or to become the parent your kids deserve.”
If you don’t, your life is destined to become the living definition of insanity… “Doing the same things over and over again, but expecting different results.” And that’s no way to live.
“A fool despiseth… instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.” Proverbs 15:5
Of these three things, which one is most relevant to where you are right now?
