“Dad, wanna go fishing?” This was the question my 14-year-old son asked me last Saturday night at 7pm.
A couple of things to note:
#1 – I’d just spent all day preparing for VBS starting the next day. I was tired and ready to just relax at home before an inevitably busy week.
#2 – I. Hate. Fishing. I’d rather chew gravel than go fishing. But I love spending time with my son.
So, guess what we did Saturday night? We went fishing… and had a great time. I think we caught seven fish in all, and had some great conversation as well.
As I reflected on this, I was reminded of these three important things.
1. Connection is a choice.
My 14-year-old son is different from all my other kids. He seems to enjoy many things that I have zero interest in, like fishing and golf to name a few. However, I’m interested in my son, so that causes me to show interest in the things that matter to him.
I had every excuse in the book for why I shouldn’t have gone fishing with my son, and I was honestly tempted to use them. But opportunities to invest in your kids don’t usually operate on a convenient timeframe.
Connection is a choice. And nothing spells love to a child like T-I-M-E.
2. Kids talk more when you’re connecting.
Of all our kids, Shane is the most quiet. He’s much like his dad, and I sometimes find it hard to get him to open up through conversation.
However, I’ve found that he naturally opens up when we’re doing something he loves, or when I bring up something he’s passionate about (cue his YouTube channel or basketball).
Saturday night at the lake, Shane talked more than he had in the past week, simply because he was in his element.
It was a great time together and a simple reminder that kids don’t open up on demand. They open up when they’re comfortable.
3. I won’t regret the times I prioritized quality time.
Shane is a last-minute “let’s do this” kind of person. He rarely gives you a heads up, but always wants you to say yes.
While it’s not realistic for every parent to always say yes, I’m finding that the more I can be a yes parent by giving quality time to my kids, the more I’ll be glad someday that I did.
I’ve only got a couple of years left with my two teenage boys at home. And I plan to make the most of them in every way possible.
Oh yeah… and guess what Shane and I will be doing this Friday on my day off? Let’s just say that we’ll have to decide if we’re going to do 9 holes or 18.
While the golfing probably won’t be very good, I have a feeling that the conversation and connection will be. And that’s something I can look forward to.
