Now the birth of Jesus was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Matthew 1:18
Imagine with me for a moment, Jesus, the only Son of God, was:
- The child of an “unplanned” pregnancy.
- Conceived to an unmarried teenage girl.
- And raised by a man who was not his biological father.
Sound familiar?
Non-traditional homes are the majority…
In American society today, a majority of children are being raised in broken or blended homes.
In 2011, the Family Research Council found that only 46% of children in the United States will reach the age of 17 living in intact homes with both biological parents.
And according to statistics from the 2021 Census Bureau, only 18% of households in the US are families with married parents. This is down from over 40% in 1970.
While those numbers are unfortunate, they are reality, and have even increased in recent years. And this raises a very legitimate question for the church… If a majority of families today are made up of something other than traditional biological families, how is that reflected in the people we are reaching in our churches? Are we reaching, welcoming, and engaging these families that enter our doors? Because nearly half of families who visit our church will fit into that category.
Non-traditional homes are the future of the church…
Thankfully, God is using churches today that are full of blended families and single-parent homes to accomplish His work and raise up the next generation for Christ. And it is a beautiful picture of God’s ongoing work of redeeming what has been broken.
May these families never feel overlooked, looked down upon, or treated differently than anyone else in our churches.
Have they made mistakes? Yes. Would they go back and do some things differently? Probably. Can they reverse time and change the past? No. Is there baggage that has to be worked through? Oftentimes. Can we love them unconditionally right where they are? Yes, just as God has done for us. Can they be used in ministry to advance the kingdom of God? Absolutely.
All homes matter to God…
Broken homes and stepfamilies ARE NOT second-rate to God, and should not be treated as such.
What is the church about? Well, it’s a place where broken people get restored, sinners are given second chances, and all are allowed time and space to heal… from their sin, their past, and their failures, no matter what it involves.
Consider a couple of note-worthy things about step-families from Jesus’ family:
1) Jesus’ stepfather was a godly man who loved the Lord and loved him.
Joseph raised Jesus like he was his own. He trained him, taught him, loved him, and no doubt helped him to become the man’s man that he was. Joseph was the picture of what many parents portray in the church today – godly men and women raising kids not their own, and absolutely killin’ it in the process, raising some amazingly God-loving kids.
2) A pregnant teenage girl gave birth to the Son of God.
God works in mysterious ways, and oftentimes through seemingly bad circumstances. The same is still true today. We serve a God who is in the business of redeeming broken people and things. Remember this, “A mistake on the part of a parent never makes their child a mistake in the eyes of God.”
3) A step-parent raised the only perfect kid ever.
Certainly, Joseph had a slight advantage, raising the only perfect Son of God, but he proved that IT IS POSSIBLE to parent successfully as a step-parent.
4) God used a step-child to change the world.
While the surrounding circumstances were certainly different than in families today, consider this thought… God used the child of a pregnant teenage girl, and who was raised by a step-father… to save the entire human race. And God is still using kids from all family types to make a difference in his kingdom today.
I hope that these thoughts will remind you to be aware of both the needs and potential of the blended families within your church.
And if you are a parent with a broken marriage, a second marriage, a single parent, or filling another parent’s shoes as a step-parent, I hope that you’ll be encouraged and challenged by these words. May I remind you that God’s greatest work ever accomplished in the world came through an “untraditional” family – but a family that was yielded to Him and committed to the process of godly parenting, regardless of their circumstances.
Since fostering the past four years, our family has gained a greater understanding of and appreciation for what blended families face.
No doubt, what God has called you to in this season of life has its own unique challenges that some may never fully understand, but please know today that you are seen, loved, and prayed for. I’m asking for God to give you strength, grace, and the spirit of a Joseph or a Mary for the specific situations that you face.
God loves you, the church loves you, and we desperately need your help to raise the next generation of world-changers!
