If you haven’t done this in a while, I’d encourage you to try it out this week… Take inventory of what your kids ask you and tell you on a regular basis.
Our kids playing football with their “football helmets” on
I’ve found that a majority of the time, there are two things that our kids are counting on you and I to do for them daily, and if we keep their tank full of these two ingredients, we’re going to have some very happy campers.
The first thing they desire from you on a regular basis is for you to:
1. BE THERE
How often are you’re kids asking questions like these?
- Can you please come play outside with me?
- Mommy, please watch.
- Daddy, look what I can do.
- Will you jump with me on the trampoline?
- Can we go on a bike ride?
- Will you watch a movie with me?
- Can we sit down and read this book?
It really doesn’t matter what the questions are, they are all speaking to the same need. Your children want you and need you to simply be present in their daily life. They want to have access to your time and attention, because in their little mind, that means that they have access to you.
There are times when I’m distracted or not listening, when my 5 year old, Shane, has the habit of grabbing me by the chin and turning my face towards his. He’s not being disrespectful, it’s just his way of saying, “Dad, I want and need your attention.” Sometimes it serves as a subtle reminder that I need to be more present in the moment.
Remember, “In the eyes of a child, love is spelled TIME.”
How often and how easily can we be physically present in our families, yet be totally not there? We do it all the time without even realizing it.
Sometimes we’re distracted by a device or a to-do list. Yet with every question they’re asking, our kids are really asking for us. They just want us. To be there. For them.
Unfortunately, in an adult’s world, that’s sometimes too much for a kid to ask. May we strive to never let it be that way in our home. When you’re with your family. Be present.
Another thing I’m sure you’ve noticed that your kids desire from you on a regular basis is for you to:
2. BELIEVE IN THEM
Kids were born to dream BIG! They’re ambitious. They think outside the box. They haven’t yet been infected with life’s harsh realities. And that’s okay. Or at least it should be.
My seven year old, Seth, is currently on an NFL kick. He’s bound and determined to be in the NFL someday. So the way that plays itself out in our family life is dad and the boys playing lots of football in the front yard so Seth can get better with as much practice as possible.
At least a couple times a week, he’s asking me, “Dad, you wanna go outside and play football?” He knows that the more he practices, the better he’ll become. And he’s got his sights set high on the NFL.
And hey, who am I to discourage him? All he wants me to do is simply believe in him and his dream. And the best way I can do that is by getting out on the front lawn and playing some football. (And in all honesty, football is my least favorite sport, but he will never know that. 🙂 )
The reality is that my son will probably never be in the NFL (please don’t tell him I said that). Yet, the only reality that matters to my seven year old is this, “Dad believes in my dream, so I can do this!”
I want him to believe that he can shoot for the stars, and I won’t be the one standing in the way to stop him. Kids were born to dream big. It’s part of what makes childhood so magical.
What kind of dreams are your kids shooting for? And what are you doing to encourage them?
Whether its believing in them when they’re studying for a test or trying out for a team or attempting to win a coloring contest, we need to always stay positive. Because far more valuable than them winning the “prize” is us helping them through the process.
They ought to always know that mom and dad will always be their biggest cheerleaders in life.
“Believing in your children is one of their greatest needs and one of your greatest gifts.”
Mom, Dad… your kids are counting on you to be there, and to believe in them. They’re facing a world full of let downs. Don’t let yourself be one of them.
