“Remind me, why do we have a professional claw machine in our garage right now?” This was a question I posed to my 13 year-old son recently.
Ever since he was young, he’s had a obvious entrepreneurial spirit. While his older brothers are out making money “the good old-fashioned way” through mowing lawns, milking cows, and anything else they can find to do, Shane has always set his sights on the “bigger and better” things (time will tell if his strategy is successful).
Throughout his preteen years, he’s been uniquely different than all of our other kids. He can be super quiet at times, yet super loud at others, annoyingly funny, and full of preteen enthusiasm, humor, and adventure. His interest in things like 3d printers, his successful youtube channel for kids, and claw machines are just a few of the things that set him apart.
Even as our youngest, he’s still teaching me so many things about successful parenting. Here are a few things I’m continuing to learn when it comes to raising kids in this in-between stage of life.
Be understanding of their season.
During the preteen and teen years, your kids are going to be changing more both physically and mentally than they will in at any other time in their life. Not only are their bodies changing drastically. Their character and beliefs are being solidified and they are making life-shaping decisions that will often be undercurrents of their future direction for life.
This is not a season to step back and lesson your influence, but to step up and prioritize it in new ways. Your child needs your unconditional love as they navigate these waters of change.
Be flexible with their changes.
Shane has gone through so many changes recently that it’s hard to keep up. He’s trying to find his own identity in his rapidly growing body, which means some awkward clothing choices and fits, multiple tries at different hairstyles, and a range of attitudes, emotions, and voice fluctuations.
It especially involves him thinking that everything in the world is funny and everyone is an equal opportunity object of his pranks and sarcasm (Honestly, sooo annoying. Lol). All of this requires patience and flexibility as a parent to bring proper balance and boundaries with all of these changes.
Be intentional with their influences.
Go into their room. Know what they’re interested in. Soak in the memories, and pray over them often…
Inspect their devices/technology use. Know who they’re messaging, the apps they’re using, and the people they’re being influenced by digitally…
Get to know their friends. Your child’s friends at this age will shape their future as much as you do, so invest into your child by investing into their friends and getting to know them.
Be engaged with their questions.
Teens have tons of questions. The ultimate question is this—who are they going to ask for the answers? You want this to be you. So make yourself available. Your preteen/teen is mentally wrestling through what they believe about life and truth, whether they tell you so or not. So ask questions… and allow questions.
Have an open-door questions policy in your home where your teens can ask any question, at anytime, about anything, without judgment. Most teens will take advantage of it if they know it’s an option.
I’m not exactly sure what your home looks like right now, but we’re definitely in the “claw machine and crazy teen” stage. If you’re in this same stage of parenting as we are with preteens or young teens, let’s pray for each other! :). We need it.
Keep learning. Keep growing. Because godly kids don’t raise themselves!
Shane bringing home his big new investment.
One of Shane’s current goals—counting how many times he’s gone up and down the steps since January. He’s currently at 1,608.
