“Everyone is silently fighting a battle you know nothing about. Except toddler parents. The battle we’re fighting is loud and everyone is aware it’s taking place.”
In the past couple of weeks, I’ve met with more parents than I can count on one hand who all seem to be fighting the same battle in their home.
It’s a hard battle. It’s a necessary battle. And it’s a battle not always just limited to toddlers. But it’s a battle that parents MUST win.
This is what you signed up for…
A child changes your life forever! No parent will deny that. But when a child enters the picture, a parent has a choice as to the lens through which they see their relationship with this child.
Sometimes parents adopt the flawed “make my child happy at all costs” mindset. Their ultimate goal becomes the happiness of their child, which leads them to seek to please their child in every way and protect them from the painful consequences and realities of life. This parenting approach rarely ever ends well.
However, a godly parent sees parenting through a different lens. They don’t see themselves as an agent of fulfilling their child’s happiness, even though their child brings so much happiness to their life.
They see their parenting as the stewardship of a life and its eternal direction.
A godly parent’s goal is not protection from the harsh realities of life, but preparation for those realities through a lifelong relationship with Jesus.
The first foundational season of parenting—the discipline years—is the best time to chart this direction by establishing control.
Control is the battle that EVERY parent must win…
Establishing control early is like laying a firm foundation to build upon for years to come. It’s always easier to get the foundation right from the start than trying patching it up for years to come.
As one person said, “It’s a whole lot easier to build strong boys than it is to repair broken men.”
This doesn’t mean that the following seasons of parenting will be challenge-free or that there will never be additional smaller battles to face. This is all a part of teaching your kids the #1 thing God expects of them.
However, regardless of your child’s age, control MUST be established by helping them understand that God gave parents to children and not the other way around.
And in every season of parenting, not only is consistency control’s best friend—consistency is king!
So if you’re fighting a battle for control in your home right now:
- Know that you’re in good company with many other parents who are with you in the fight.
- Stay consistent, balancing truth and grace, even though it’s hard.
And don’t forget, the question is not whether or not control will be established. The question is, once it is established, who has it?
Through each season, the overarching goal is to lead your kids to Jesus through various seasonal methods. And the key to success is always consistency. –Godly Parenting Book
