Almost every night, once I finally sit down in the living room, one of our girls will smile and announce, “Daddy, start counting!” That’s the cue for every toddler’s favorite game of all time: hide and seek.
As soon as I start counting, the giggles begin and off they go to their “best” hiding spot, which is almost always one of the same three places: under the edge of the bed comforter, behind the window blinds, or in the closet. Not much variety in the strategy, but they get a huge kick out of me finding them with a tickle attack.
Then, of course, it’s my turn to hide. I pick obvious spots like behind a door, in the empty bathtub, or under a blanket. Somehow they still can’t find me. I usually have to start making noises just to help them out, because their idea bank of hiding places is so limited.
It’s fun, but it also reminds me of a bigger parenting principle: our kids have limited understanding and limited capabilities, and that calls for intentional guidance and grace.
They don’t naturally think or act like adults, nor should we expect them to. They need the ongoing care and training of a loving parent.
What seems like common sense to us (don’t eat crayons, don’t put raisins up your nose) isn’t common at all to them. Here are a couple of examples:
- Holding hands in parking lots. Make it a family rule with a fun twist, like “squeeze twice for I love you.” It turns a safety rule into a connection moment.
- Gentle hands. Last week, I observed the girls petting our dog by rubbing back and forth, so I showed them how to pet the dog softly, and in the right direction, then let them practice.
The same is true spiritually. Kids don’t naturally know how to pray, why Scripture matters, or how to choose kindness over selfishness. But all of it can be taught and modeled:
- Thank-you prayers. Before bed, ask, “What was your favorite part of the day?” or “What’s one thing you’re thankful God gave you today?” Then teach them that prayer is just talking to God, by letting them thank God for it.
- Obedience with a smile. Teach “first-time obedience” by memorizing Ephesians 6:1 (“Children, obey your parents.”), or make it a game, then celebrate when they do it. Maybe try a simple phrase like “Listen, obey, and say okay!”
- Catch kindness and name it. When you see them share a toy or help a sibling, say, “I saw you share. That’s what Jesus does. I’m proud of you.” Praising the heart, not just the behavior, shows them what following God looks like.
“Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the LORD.” (Psalm 34:11)
I love the picture this verse paints of us inviting our kids to come closer and learn, as we direct their hearts toward the Father.
So, where is God calling you to train your children right now?
Whether you’re raising a toddler or a sometimes-lacking-common-sense teenager (and yes, those two stages have more in common than we’d like to admit), they both need you to point the way. What’s one practical or spiritual next step you could help them take this week?
Just like in hide-and-seek, don’t be afraid to make “intentional little noises” along the way each day to help them find God’s best.
Since God didn’t give you to your kids by accident, don’t be casual about guiding them on purpose. Help them see everyday life through the lens of God’s plan for their future.
