Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6
Last week, we talked about the importance of training over just correction. It’s interesting that the verse above doesn’t say to correct a child in the way he should go, but to train him in the way he should go.
While correction is important and necessary, it primarily addresses where the child currently is by focusing only the fruit of their bad behavior.
“The Way He Should Go”…
Training, on the other hand, focuses on “the way he should go” by going deeper to address the root causes in the heart behind the misbehavior.
Training is forward-thinking parenting because it focuses on your child’s heart and his or her long-term future instead of your immediate frustration.
When Susie repeatedly provokes her little brother, rather than just raising your voice at her again, try calling her close, clearly and calmly explaining your expectations, helping her tap into her God-given conscience, and guiding her to understand that she’s making the wrong choice. Then give her the opportunity to make the right choice or face the consequences.
Training, unlike correction alone, gives children the opportunity to exercise their conscience and make good character choices. It also helps you as a parent keep the bigger picture in view rather than simply reacting to the moment.
You’re now parenting forward for your child rather than just seeking momentary relief for yourself.
A Personal Parenting Forward Moment…
When our daughter was young, she really struggled with receiving correction well. I felt like a broken record, telling her yet again just how important her response to correction was for her growth (Proverbs 6:23).
But over time, as we patiently focused on training her heart and helping her see correction as a gift rather than an attack, we began to notice gradual changes in both her heart and her behavior.
Today, our now-young-adult daughter is one of the most teachable and gracious people I know.
Recently, she shared with me how frustrated she gets when her coworkers resist feedback and correction instead of seeing it as an opportunity to grow. I couldn’t help but just smile, remembering my little girl who once struggled with the same thing.
No matter where your kids are right now on their journey toward developing character, parenting forward can help you guide them there with patience and hope.
“Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future will be built.” -James Dobson
