There is great power in being convinced. Here’s how I know… One of my boys’ favorite activities is playing basketball in the driveway.
With three of them and myself, it works out perfectly for us to play 2-on-2 tournaments, best out of 11. We always play to 30 points each game, and the first team to win 6 times takes the whole series.
In one of our most recent series, Seth and I were in the winning lead with a 5 to 1 advantage. We were only one game away from winning the whole thing. However, we lost the next four games in a row and so the series was tied at 5-5. The championship game was ‘do or die’. One team would go to bed that night as the Champions, and the others, well…
That final game was one of the most stressful I think we have ever played before. Why? Because every foul and every call was brought into question by the other team. As the championship hung in the balance, both teams had such a burning desire to win that it tainted our ability to judge each call clearly and fairly. Everyone was so convinced of how they saw things happen, that before you know it, things got really heated and out of hand as everyone was out to prove why they were right and their opponent was wrong.
How about you?…
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with someone who was passionately convinced of their opinion on a matter? Of course, we all have, especially nowadays. And in their effort to convince you that their opinion was correct, they may have actually alienated you from wanting to share your own opinion on the matter… or potentially adopt theirs. As a result, you were inconveniently left with nothing but frustration.
This happens often in areas of religion, sports, politics, relationships, vaccines, how to handle a pandemic, and so many other personal preferences and opinions. For example, while some people love camping, other people love indoor plumbing. While some people prefer fast food, others are exclusively sold on finer dining. We could spend all our time trying to convince someone why they should change the preferences they are convinced of, but in the end, we all want the same thing – to be happy, to enjoy life, to have purpose. I understand that’s a very simple illustration, but everyone has their viewpoints of just about everything. And we’re all convinced that our perspectives are correct and that others are not.
This is the amazing power of being convinced… whether something is true or not. But, whatever happened to allowing other people to have the freedom of thought, expression, and conviction, even if they come to different conclusions than we do on more complex issues? People are understandably on edge with all the current circumstances surrounding us. But that doesn’t seem to make sense of the lacking common sense to be found in people’s dealings with one another. And especially on social media that has become a breeding ground for all of this to thrive. (Here are 8 Questions to Ask Before You Push Post)
Have you ever known someone who was convinced of something that you knew wasn’t correct? Why is it that you could obviously see what they couldn’t or wouldn’t? Or have you ever come to the realization that you yourself were actually convinced of something that wasn’t true after all? Why couldn’t you see then what you see now?
People with strong opinions convince themselves all the time that what they believe is true. It’s human nature.
- People with harmful habits and sinful tendencies convince themselves that they will be ‘the exception to the rule’. It’s the mentality that says, “I know it’s happened to others, but it won’t happen to me.”
- People with relational problems often convince themselves that other people are the reason for their problems. They see only what they want to see and find supporting evidence to confirm it.
- People with financial problems convince themselves that if they just had more money, they wouldn’t be in this mess when in truth, their mismanagement of the money they already had is what got them where they are.
The reality is simply this:
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More people are convinced than are teachable
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More people are proud than are humble
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More people are selfishly-motivated than are grace-filled.
Unfortunately, we often lack two of the great characteristics that should be descriptive of every Christian, self-awareness and teachability.
Let the Bible be your guide…
Apart from things that are clearly laid out in Scripture as non-negotiable, we should always be slow to be convinced of anything, and teachable towards everything. Because it is very possible for well-meaning Christians to fall into extreme ditches on either side of the narrow road that we’ve been called to. The divide, even among Christians, on non-essential issues is alarming.
Because the reality is this – once you’re convinced of anything, you have usually crossed a line of ‘no return’, whether for good or bad. And sadly, there is often (but not always) a fine line between being self-convinced and self-deceived. All too often, many people don’t know the difference.
Whether spiritually, politically, relationally, personally, etc. we can easily become convinced that we are right and others are wrong. And as a result if we’re not careful, we can hurt a lot of people, including ourselves, our friends, and our families, in the process.
So, what exactly is it that causes us to be so convinced?…
1) We become convinced by our experiences
The experiences of our life are very powerful because they often shape and mold our viewpoints and convictions. This is why most adults generally adopt the same religious and political affiliation as their parents, or in some negative experiences, reject them. They’ve been shaped by their experiences.
2) We become convinced by our influences
I believe that the statement is true, “Show me your five closest friends, and I’ll show you your future 5 years from now.” Whether we are willing to admit it or not, we are naturally shaped by our closest influences. This not only includes those we spend time with, but the things we read, what we watch, and other deposits we make into our internal account. This is why if you only ever spend time with people who think exactly like you, you are in great danger of the power of being convinced.
3) We become convinced by our reinforcements
Once someone is convinced of something, whether true or not, they naturally begin finding any supporting evidence to reinforce what they are already convinced of. This is why many marriages crumble, because no matter what, spouses are convinced and will never seek to truly understand the other, but only assume the worst and try to prove them wrong. This is why many a friendship has gone sour. And why many Christians have been turned away from the faith.
Thankfully, God gives us the answer to all of this…
Romans 14:5 Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.
One of the best pieces of advice my dad ever gave me was this, “Advice not asked for is usually not well received.”
Let me encourage you with this thought, you are not called or commanded by God in any way to convince others on any non-scriptural issue. (Romans 14:14-16)
- Is it okay to have strong personal opinions and preferences? Yes
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Should we have conversations with those who are open-minded or interested in debate? Sure
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Should we be able to share our perspectives and teach those who are teachable? Absolutely
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Should we be quick to make our opinions known with others even when they’re not asking for it? No
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Should we force others to be convinced simply because we are? Never
Here’s an important question to consider? In any area that we are convinced, are we interested in hearing the objections and claims of the other side? And how would we respond if they tried to forcefully convince us of their side of things?… We need to be very cautious trying to do the same to someone else. Because we can make a point, or we can make a difference.
Proverbs 18:19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city.
On non-Scriptural issues, according to Romans 14:5, God simply gives you as a Christian the liberty to be convinced for yourself.
Remember that “strait is the gate, and narrow is the way” that we have been saved to and that we are called to lead others to (Matthew 7:13-14). There are many wide and broad ways leading people to destruction. And many of those ways are nothing but unnecessary distractions and noise keeping us and them from focusing on the ONE THING that truly matters.
The one primary thing we ought to be lovingly, faithfully and unapologetically convincing people of is their desperate need of Jesus. He is the answer, the solution, the remedy. He is the narrow way. In the midst of this pandemic and in everyday life, let’s protect our testimonies by continually focusing on and pointing the world to Jesus more than anything else.
Yes, the distractions are tempting, but if we’re louder about anything more than we are about Jesus, we may need to honestly ask ourselves who it is that’s behind us being so convinced (2 Corinthians 2:11).
- BTW, for those wondering, after our 5-1 lead, Seth I lost the series 5-6.
