People often say that there’s no such thing as a perfect parent. But I’d argue that they’re wrong. Because believe it or not, I actually used to be “the perfect parent.” That is, until July 31st, 2002, when we had our first son.
I remember as a teenager looking at other people’s little kids misbehaving and thinking to myself, “I’m going to be such a great parent… My kids are never going to act like that!”…
But then when I got married and had kids of my own I threw everything I ever thought I knew about parenting out the window. Because I quickly came to realize that my children were actually little devils disguised as cute kids.
A lot of parents think they know it all when it comes to life, parenting, or just about anything else. I know I did.
If we’re not careful, we can easily become very opinionated in just about everything, which can lead down a dangerously judgmental path. This is the danger of the power of being convinced.
The same can be true spiritually. Upon becoming a Christian, many believers think they know it all. It all seems so black and white. Yet as you spiritually mature, you realize that the more you learn, the less you know.
The younger I was, the more I thought I had it all together. The older I get, the more I realize I’m still on journey — a journey towards a greater understanding of truth and personal Christlikeness.
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6
So if you find yourself on journey like I am with so much yet to learn as a parent and as a Christian, here are some important principles and questions worth taking the time to consider:
- Godly parents admit they don’t know it all. Do your responses to your kids’ questions and concerns show them that you are on a learning journey yourself, or just that you are stuck in your own ways and mindsets, regardless of whether right or wrong, and you just have to be right?
- Growing people are changing people. The Bible calls this the renewing of our minds. When was the last time you changed your mind about something you previously had a strong opinion about? This is often a good sign of spiritual maturity. If it’s been a while, you might want to evaluate your spiritual growth rate.
- Grace-based parents raise grace-based kids. Have you ever been around super-opinionated children? It didn’t take long for you to realize where they got it from, did it? Our kids will become us even in our demeanor, our tone, and our grace-filled responses (or lack thereof) toward those we disagree with.
Do Your Kids Know You’re a Work In Progress?
- What have you admitted you don’t know recently?
- When have you last apologized?
- Do they still see you growing and on journey yourself?
Remember the old song we sang as kids… “He’s still workin’ on me. To make me what I ought to be?”... Well, it still needs to be true for us as adults.
May we always strive to be more like Jesus— FULL of grace AND truth.
- May we be grounded on truth, yet rooted in grace.
- May we be always striving for what’s right, yet humble enough to admit when we’re wrong.
- May we be willing to understand that there’s more truth than we’ll ever fully comprehend. And there’s more grace than we’ll ever be worthy to deserve.
May God help us demonstrate both, especially in our homes, so that we can raise future “works in progress” until Jesus returns.
